My entire adult life i've been plagued with obesity for various reasons. Some self inflicted and some medically bourne. However, non of them are permanent if i choose to do something about it.... and I have. In June 2011 i made a decision that i would be in the pink of health by June 2012 and i'm well on my way. Ofcourse! i do have my ups and downs , i deem them important on the road to success.
Now why am i telling you this? Yesterday a conversation with a dear friend got me thinking about how different people deal with obesity. This year I have seen how people deal with their own or other peoples obesity and a lot of it frightens me. Telling someone that they are not beautiful because of their weight, or that they have deluded themselves into skinny jeans is offensive...atleast to me. A lot of obese people take this as genuine concern or advice only to hate their looks regardless of losing the weight. Because they are seeing their worth through someone elses eyes.
Obesity is a medical issue and only a medical issue. And by medical i mean physiological and psycological. If your health is not affected by you being overweight (though i dont see how), i do not think it is an issue. If your only reason to lose the poundage is looks, fitting in or fitting yours or someones idea of good looking, youre setting yourself up for major psycological games. Why? Because once you lose the weight, that same person can tell you youre still not perfect, you need to change your personality, youre too loose charactered, then they will tell you that dermabration is the answer to the scars on your face (though im sure it does work). The point i'm getting at is perfection is a myth. And the point of life, atleast one of them is constantly working on yourself. Mind , body and soul. And sometimes you will choose not too and suffer the concequences and sometimes you will choose to "be on a break" which is fine too. As long as you know what's the right thing for YOU!
Other than your medical advisers no one and i mean NO ONE should need to tell you what to do. And i dont mean genuine concern for your health, i mean someone telling you about how you look and hounding you by telling you that youre not good enough (using the guise of a reality check) is a control issue on their part. Being honest is great and might save someone a major medical fallback however the above is RUDE!.
Yesterday my friend and i were discussing a 20 yr olds battle with the buldge. The fact that her mother and sister constantly hound her about the way she looks. And the fact that they are overly concerned about theirs. This young woman's mother is obsessed with way of defeating age..Just that fact tells you how abrasive her personality must be for her oveweight daughter.
Now! please understand that i'm not promoting obesity and i'm not saying it does not cause life threatening deseases. IT does all that and MORE. I know, i'm almost 30 and i feel the effects now. My point is that a healthy body image is the way to go. Whether youre preventing a childs obesity or trying to reverse it. The people who are obese need to know that as people they are great just the way they are, and that they are beautiful whether they lose the weight or not. They will be healthier if they do, live longer and because of which they will be in your life for a longer period and THAT makes you happy. Telling someone that they have deluded themselves in thinking they look good is probably not the best body image you want to promote. Why? cause they might still have rounded hips, or a not so flat stomach , or broad shoulders and stretch marks....most normal people do...and men or women need to know its okay...beauty lies in the eye of the beholder...and they need to see themselves as beautiful!
This year one of my favorites lost a ton of weight..Jennifer Hudson and what i love is that she looks healthy and with her own admission that makes her happier and she spends more time investing in herself...Losing they weight gives you the ability to do more, feel lighter , free-er, it makes you feel healthy, Your identity is not your fat, you maybe the person you are because of your experiences brought on by obesity, you choices may be fat related but your entire existence is not your weight....And before you look anywhere else for acceptance my sweet..... You...have to accept yourself.
Now why am i telling you this? Yesterday a conversation with a dear friend got me thinking about how different people deal with obesity. This year I have seen how people deal with their own or other peoples obesity and a lot of it frightens me. Telling someone that they are not beautiful because of their weight, or that they have deluded themselves into skinny jeans is offensive...atleast to me. A lot of obese people take this as genuine concern or advice only to hate their looks regardless of losing the weight. Because they are seeing their worth through someone elses eyes.
Obesity is a medical issue and only a medical issue. And by medical i mean physiological and psycological. If your health is not affected by you being overweight (though i dont see how), i do not think it is an issue. If your only reason to lose the poundage is looks, fitting in or fitting yours or someones idea of good looking, youre setting yourself up for major psycological games. Why? Because once you lose the weight, that same person can tell you youre still not perfect, you need to change your personality, youre too loose charactered, then they will tell you that dermabration is the answer to the scars on your face (though im sure it does work). The point i'm getting at is perfection is a myth. And the point of life, atleast one of them is constantly working on yourself. Mind , body and soul. And sometimes you will choose not too and suffer the concequences and sometimes you will choose to "be on a break" which is fine too. As long as you know what's the right thing for YOU!
Other than your medical advisers no one and i mean NO ONE should need to tell you what to do. And i dont mean genuine concern for your health, i mean someone telling you about how you look and hounding you by telling you that youre not good enough (using the guise of a reality check) is a control issue on their part. Being honest is great and might save someone a major medical fallback however the above is RUDE!.
Yesterday my friend and i were discussing a 20 yr olds battle with the buldge. The fact that her mother and sister constantly hound her about the way she looks. And the fact that they are overly concerned about theirs. This young woman's mother is obsessed with way of defeating age..Just that fact tells you how abrasive her personality must be for her oveweight daughter.
Now! please understand that i'm not promoting obesity and i'm not saying it does not cause life threatening deseases. IT does all that and MORE. I know, i'm almost 30 and i feel the effects now. My point is that a healthy body image is the way to go. Whether youre preventing a childs obesity or trying to reverse it. The people who are obese need to know that as people they are great just the way they are, and that they are beautiful whether they lose the weight or not. They will be healthier if they do, live longer and because of which they will be in your life for a longer period and THAT makes you happy. Telling someone that they have deluded themselves in thinking they look good is probably not the best body image you want to promote. Why? cause they might still have rounded hips, or a not so flat stomach , or broad shoulders and stretch marks....most normal people do...and men or women need to know its okay...beauty lies in the eye of the beholder...and they need to see themselves as beautiful!
This year one of my favorites lost a ton of weight..Jennifer Hudson and what i love is that she looks healthy and with her own admission that makes her happier and she spends more time investing in herself...Losing they weight gives you the ability to do more, feel lighter , free-er, it makes you feel healthy, Your identity is not your fat, you maybe the person you are because of your experiences brought on by obesity, you choices may be fat related but your entire existence is not your weight....And before you look anywhere else for acceptance my sweet..... You...have to accept yourself.
nice post
ReplyDeletei myself was fat sometime ago but now im fit and fine and in pretty good shape ..........
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